Frazer Smith’s Power News — August 18, 1978
ROUGH IDEAS
Big trouble at the first military-theme amusement park.
Nixon’s first grandchild is black.
11 members of the Scientology Church are indicted by the Federal Government on charges of __.
George Kennedy shot dead on location of latest movie, The Double McGuffin, in which he played a policemen. Producer/director Joe Camp decided to continue the filming, since he figured that nobody would notice the difference. Kennedy shot by Ed “Too Tall” Jones.
Joey Heatherton walks out of show at Sahara in Reno because sound system is not loud enough. Says that a cue was missed in which she makes a rude noise. Says that she had to continue making the noise for over an hour before the band heard the cue. Manager says that she didn’t walk out, she was thrown out.
Senator Edward Kennedy is developing a new drug that will turn people into Russians, and condition them to climb over walls with no purpose in mind. He denies it.
Rosalyn Carter screwing everybody around the world in order to improve Jimmy’s bargaining position.
Hamilton Jordan has started other White House staffers grumbling by selling Rosalyn Carter on the streets for big money, and refusing to split it with them.
Ted Baxter, upset over the failure of his latest TV show and his inability to find another, has announced that he will seek new parts using his real name, Leon Spinks.
Supermarket workers went on strike this week demanding that they be allowed to work upside down, plus something else.
Canadians show up en masse at Elvis funeral, not sure why.
A shark has decided to protest U.S. aid to dolphins by walking from Key Biscayne to Casa Pacifica in a human cage. Financed by Bebe Ronobone.
Hype new Frazer Smith TV Show.
- Guest stars
- dog swapping
- ballboxing champions
- Thelma Gork, of North Hollywood
- Drugs for small kids campaign- Radio Exercise program; Bend Over, America
- Disappearing Disco
John Travolta is convinced that he has lived before as a shrew.
Go-go girl treated by doctor for stomach pains. Passes out, when awakened, feels better. Now calls herself the Salvation Stripper. Doctor tells her to get rid of her boyfriend, fast car, records and jewelry. They shout at her, and tell her that she can take off her clothes, if she feels like it. When she wakes up, she feels better.
Priests all over the city are flocking to movie sets over the weekends in hopes of landing lucrative jobs portraying drunkards and dope fiends.
A gang of karate-trained CB radio-equipped wheelchair patients is terrorizing the Southland.
Al Ramirez takes all of the money from the Frazer Smith show and sinks it into a custom van. Wrecks it minutes later, total loss.
George Allen, bitter over the loss of his team, has come out of his shell and is wishing the best of luck to his successor, the new head coach Frazer Smith. Rams head management, however, hasn’t made up its mind about the matter, as shown in their decision to move to Orange county, which is far away from coach Smith.
Paul Newman says that he is driving fast cars in preparation for a new feat that will challenge Frazer Smith’s record of jumping a Winnebago over the MGM Grand. Newman will try to jump his alligator-covered Winnebago over the Grand backwards.
Mick Jagger out to dinner with Jerri Hall, flies into a rage after being mistaken for Frazer Smith and attacks contestants in Little Tokyo pageant.
Linda Ronstadt goes berserk, attacks Ron Wood onstage during the Stones’ appearance at the Community Center in Tucson, Arizona.
Thieves who stole thirteen cans of film for the movie Brink’s Job and demanded $600,000 for its return where surprized to find out that the film was worthless, as it contained only footage of TV’s Peter Falk. Director William Friedkin will instead cut Falk out of the film, saying that it will be better than before.
Carrie Fisher of Star Wars has caught car fever, and has purchased an Eldorado in which to live, in the same parking lot as Richard Dreyfus, Faye Dunaway, Steve McQueen, and Sylvester Stallone.
Kiss will star with Clint Eastwood in flick. One against the others.
Patrick Terrail, owner of Ma Maison restaurant, began dumping buckets of ice over the heads of patrons after the air conditioner broke down. David Niven, the prankster himself, responded playfully by shooting Terrail dead.
Police responding to a call from neighbors about a family disturbance were surprized upon breaking into the locked bedroom of a house in Studio City to find ex-chief Ed Davis handcuffed to a bed, and comedian Richard Prior whipping him. Prior claims that Davis wanted Prior to do it.
Man embezzles one million dollars using a computer, forgets to spend it.
To prove false Federal claims the Valium cigarettes are harmful to health, Mark Spitz, Olympic gold medalist, tries to swim to Japan under the influence of the smoke. Gets half-way there, and decides to turn back.
Doctor advises people to forget unpleasant experiences in order to live longer, happier life. Suggests Valium cigarettes, heavy drinking, and holding breath until you pass out. Laughing gas.
Daredevil plans to cross Atlantic strapped to blade of a plane. Practicing by riding around country inside of tires on big trucks.