Frazer Smith’s Power News — August 25, 1978

ROUGH IDEAS

FS ENTERS HORSE IN A PRIZEFIGHT.

FS ATTACKED BY ORGANIZATION W/MOTTO, “STOP T-SHIRT ABUSE.”

FS INSULTS WINE STEWARDS AT PRESTIGIOUS RESTAURANT. THEY WALK OUT.

MARGARET TRUDEAU GOING BERSERK, WANTS TO GET DRUNK IN EVERY CITY IN THE WORLD, STAR IN PORNO FILMS.

MARGARET MEAD CLAIMS THAT GRANDPARENTS SHOULD LIVE WITH GRANDCHILDREN, BECAUSE OFTEN OLD FOLKS DON’T KNOW ABOUT TAKING DRUGS, AND CAN HURT THEMSELVES, THE KIDS SHOULD SHOW THEM THE PROPER WAYS TO USE NARCOTICS.

ACTRESS ELKE SOMMER HAS HER EYE ON COMEDIAN SOUPY SALES. ALTHOUGH SALES WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, SHE CONTINUES TO SEND HIM VWS FULL OF COCAINE, SAYS SOMMERS, “SOONER OR LATER. HE’S GOING TO GET HUNGRY, AND I’LL BE THERE.”

DAVID SOUL AND PAUL MICHAEL GLASER ARE HAVING PERSONAL DIFFICULTIES, GLASER HATES SOUL’S SINGING. AND HAS STARTED TAKING POT-SHOTS AT SOUL ON THE SET OF S&H. STARTED WHEN SOUL FORCED GLASER TO ATTEND A CONCERT BY SENDING A LIMO FULL OF THUGS TO FORCE GLASER TO ATTEND.

LYLE WAGGONER IS MIFFED WITH CO-STAR LINDA CARTER, BECAUSE HE IS NOT GETTING AS BIG A ROLE AS BEFORE. HAS THREATENED TO GROW TITS IN RETALIATION.

AFTER HIS SPECTACULAR FAILURE IN THE MOVIE THE NORSEMEN. LEE MAJORS IS REPORTEDLY OFFERING STUDIO BOSSES $250,000 TO PUT HIM IN A FILM.

ANDY WILLIAMS AND CLAUDINE LONGET ARE BACK TOGETHER.

FRED MACMURRAY IS BATTLING NUDE BATHERS IN FRONT OF HIS RUSSIAN RIVER HOME.

O.J. SIMPSON RESIGNS FROM FOOTBALL WHEN ROBERT STIGWOOD LEAKS THE NEWS THAT HE AND SHAUN CASSIDY ARE IDENTICAL TWINS, WILL STAR IN RE-MAKE OF THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER.

SYLVESTER STALLONE, WHO MADE ROCKY, IS MAKING ROCKY II. STALLONE, HOWEVER, APPARENTLY DID NOT IMPRESS STUDIO HEADS WITH HIS ACTING ABILITY. AND ONLY MANAGED TO LAND A PART AS A PUNCHING BAG IN THE NEW FLICK, SAYS ONE BOSS, “IT’S MORE THAN HE DESERVES. I HOPE HE CAN HANDLE IT.”

EXECUTIVES PLANNING TO DO YET ANOTHER ROAD PIC WITH PERSONAL FRIEND BOB HOPE AND LOVELY DOROTHY LAMOUR, AT FIRST WERE GOING TO REPLACE THE LATE BING CROSBY WITH GEORGE BURNS, HOWEVER, AFTER SEEING BURNS IN SCREEN TESTS, THEY DECIDE TO GO WITH DER BINGLE, ANYWAY.

SUNDAY’S RIVERSIDE $25,OOO JEEP CELEBRITY CHALLENGE RACE BEFORE THE $200,OOO BF GOODRICH SCORE OFF-ROAD WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP RACE. W/WILT CHAMBERLAIN, RICKY NELSON, KENT MCCORD, JIM GARNER, RUTH BUZZI, THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS, AND KEN NORTON.

FINAL CUT DAY APPROACHING FOR THE RAMS TEAM, FS HAS SOME PLAN (?).

LAWYERS FOR THE VAST SMITH ENTERPRIZES TODAY CHARGED THAT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS DYNAMO GLEN LARSON HAS FOR YEARS BEEN STEALING IDEAS FROM SMITH, AND NOT PAYING FOR THEM.

BUDDY HACKETT ATTACKS JAYE P. MORGAN ONSTAGE AT THE NEW SCANDALS CLUB IN HOLLYWOOD, AFTERWARDSJ HE DEMANDS MONEY FOR THE PERFORMANCE, BUT THE AUDIENCE RATES HIM AS POOR, AND ATTACKS HIM, STRANGLING HIM AND ROBBING HIM OF ALL OF HIS MONEY.

DON RICKLES LETS HIS HAIR GROW, AND IS ARRESTED BY ANIMAL CONTROL AUTHORITIES ON SUSPICION OF BEING A SHREW, WIFE SAYS SHE DOESN’T THINK HE IS, BUT REMARKS LHAT HE DOES LOOK LIKE LEON SPINKS.

CAMEL DOGGING

COOK COUNTY, CHICAGO, SHERIFF’S OFFICERS HAVE ISSUED A WARRANT FOR HUGH HEFNER ON CHARGES OF PRINTING OBSCENE MATERIAL.

THE THREE BALLOONISTS WHO LAST WEEK MADE HISTORY WITH THEIR CROSSING OF THE ATLANTIC, THIS WEEK WERE ARRESTED BY FRENCH AUTHORITIES SHORTLY BEFORE BOARDING A FRENCH CONCORDE FOR THE FLIGHT HOME. THE CHARGE? DRUG TRAFFICKING. APPARENTLY, THE TRIO BURNED PCP TO FILL THE BALLOON FOR THE CROSSING, AND OFTEN THREW TONS OF THE RAW DRUG OVERBOARD TO LIGHTEN THE CRAFT, FRENCH OFFICIALS SAID THAT THEY BECAME SUSPICIOUS OF THE FLIERS WHEN THEY DISCOVERED THAT THEY HAD FLOWN THE WRONG WAY AROUND THE WORLD TO GET TO FRANCE.

THOUGH PRESIDENT CARTER IS APPARENTLY CUT OFF FROM CIVILIZATION WHILE RAFTING DOWN THE SALMON RIVER IN IDAHO, IN REALITY, NOTHING COULD BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH, PN SOURCES FOUND THAT THE PRESIDENTIAL PARTY IS CARRYING OVER ONE MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF RADIO GEAR, SO THAT CARTER CAN LISTEN TO THE FS SHOW, SO FAR, THE ONLY PROBLEM CAME WHEN A COCAINE-FILLED OAR SNAPPED OFF, SPILLING ITS PRECIOUS CARGO INTO THE RIVER.

AMERICAN HERO JOHN “THE DUKE” WAYNE, FEELING GREAT AFTER SURGERY ON HIS HEART, HAS DECIDED THAT IF A LITTLE IS GOOD, A LOT MUST BE BETTER, AND HAS ASKED DOCTORS AT NEWPORT’S HOAG HOSPITAL TO COMPLETELY REPLACE HIS HUMAN PARTS WITH PIG INTESTINES, SAYS WAYNE, “I’M A HAM AT HEART, SO WHY NOT THE REST OF ME?”

TEMPTATION’S SINGER MELVIN FRANKLIN TRIES TO STOP A THIEF FROM STEALING HIS CADDY, AND IS SHOT SEVEN TIMES, SAYS FRANKLIN, “IT’S A GOOD THING THAT HE RECOGNIZED ME AS ONE OF THE TEMPTATIONS, OTHERWISE, HE MIGHT HAVE TRIED TO KILL ME.”

UFO’S HAVE BEEN SPOTTED AROUND ELVIS’S GRAVE, BEAMING LASER LIGHTS AT IT, THOUGHT TO BE TRYING TO COLLECT ROYALTIES THAT THE SINGER PROMISED THEM IN EXCHANGE FOR OUTER SPACE TRINKETS, PRESLEY, MEANWHILE, HAS THE CREATURES FOOLED, AND HAS FROZEN HIS ASSETS, AS WELL AS THE REST OF HIMSELF, BY HAVING HIS BODY FROZEN CRYOGENICALLY IN CASE FUTURE SCIENTISTS ARE ABLE TO FIND A CURE FOR DEATH.

A GERMAN SHEPHERD HAS BEEN ARRESTED IN CONNECTION WITH EIGHT HOTEL FIRES IN SAN DIEGO, THE DOG APPARENTLY BECAME UPSET WHEN A HOTEL OWNER THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE IF THE DOG DIDN’T PUT ON A SWIM SUIT BEFORE ENTERING THE HOTEL POOL) AND THEN REBUFFED THE DOG’S SEXUAL ADVANCES, SAYS OWNER, “THE DOG WAS UGLY, I WOULDN’T HAVE GONE TO BED WITH HER UNLESS SHE PUT A DOGGIE BAG OVER HER HEAD.”