Frazer Smith’s Power News — May 4, 1979

Rough Ideas

The Israeli Army today attributed recent sonic booms and suspected nuclear explosives tests to raucous zoo animals.

Man invents transportation.

Inflatable dog bites professor.

Avocado plants rumored to monitor phone conversations.

FBI uncovers counterfeit alien flight exemption ticket ring.

Local restaurant closed for selling atomically unstable food.

Moon feared missing in pre-dawn animal control mishap.

Fur Baby astounds experts.

Door-to-door wallpaper salesmen linked to laboratory cancer.

On a lighter note

Carter set to invade Middle East to assure U.S. oil supply

U.S. dollar worth four cents

Study group finds minorities less able

Jackie O: Fifty years old and pretty as ever