Power News :: Litigation
Blow-up dolls protected
In a landmark decision, Los Angeles District Court Judge Douglas Whanger ruled that a blow-up doll must be considered to be necessary personal property, and thus not subject to confiscation by bankruptcy trustees. The ruling came after a local man sued for the return of his harem of over sixty blow-up dolls, which had been seized by his creditors. In handing down the decision, Judge Whanger told POWER NEWS, “I was shocked to find out this was going on. I know how bad it is to be separated from your loved ones.”
FDA vs. KFC
The FDA is gathering evidence for a multi-million dollar class-action suit against Kentucky Fried Chicken, following reports that take-out orderers often become car-sick and can throw up all over expensive seat covers and upholstery. A spokesman for the chain told POWER NEWS, “If they want food to go, they should buy Pioneer Chicken. That’s where we send all the ones that die before we can serve them.”
Chevy Chase sued again
Comedian Chevy Chase has been hit with yet another lawsuit, this week from a 35-year-old Pasadena woman who claims Chevy sold some of her possessions without her knowledge. The articles in question are the lady’s underwear, which she threw to Chase on-stage during a recent Las Vegas appearance. Chase, however, maintains that he knows nothing of the sale, and says, “As far as I know, my agent takes care of those things. Talk to him — if you can find him.”
Teaser
Mister Whipple squeezes Farrah’s nipple … lawsuit at eleven!
Linda Carter sues her doctor
TV wonderwoman Linda Carter told POWER NEWS reporters that she is suing her doctor for malpractice after he tied her to a table and forced her to eat worms during a routine examination. Ms. Carter is asking for two million dollars in damages — and fifty dollars for lunch money.
Shark handler sues Universal
Local shark handler Bobby Blot is suing Universal Studios for damages sustained by a shark that Blot loaned Universal for some footage. Blot told POWER NEWS that Universal not only lost a litter of baby sharks that his great white gave birth to during the filming, but also failed to take proper care of the shark’s expensive wardrobe. Lawyers for Universal, while not talking about the case, have hinted that they are considering a countersuit on behalf of the extras who were turned into sandwich spread by the supposedly tame shark.
Robert Deniro suing John Belushi
Actor Robert Deniro is suing Saturday night live star John Belushi, following an incident in which Belushi started throwing around tables and chairs during a party, maiming several people. Deniro says he decided to sue after his doctor told him that he will be able to work only in Disney movies from now on.
Johnny Carson sued by Video Friends Adult Movie Arcade
The Video Friend Adult Movie Arcade is suing Johnny Carson for damages after Carson announced that he was going there after his show. Telephone lines and employees at the Arcade were immediately tied up, as eager fans stripped the shop and each other for souvenirs while waiting for Carson to appear.